Throughout our lives, we meet all kinds of people. Many leave a positive mark on us, teaching us, supporting us, or simply making life lighter. And then there are the others, the ones who challenge our patience, test our boundaries, or drain our energy.
A difficult person might be a colleague, a friend, or someone close to you who seems deliberately unhelpful, reactive, or stuck in patterns that cause tension. While it can sometimes be possible to avoid or appease these people in the short term, doing so long term often becomes exhausting. Their behaviour can trigger frustration or anger, but the most important first step is staying calm. Keeping your cool creates space for clarity and prevents the situation from escalating further.
Avoidance is not always possible or healthy, especially when the person is part of your daily life or inner circle. In fact, constantly trying to steer clear of someone can increase stress and anxiety. When this is the case, addressing the issue with kindness and honesty is often the most constructive path forward.
Try not to let their mood or actions dictate your own. Expressing how you feel, clearly and respectfully, can be powerful. Share the impact of their behaviour on you without blaming or positioning yourself as a victim. Speak assertively, but with empathy, and where possible, encourage a more positive way forward.
Another helpful approach is curiosity. Taking time to understand why someone behaves the way they do can soften your response and open the door to better communication. Ask questions, listen carefully, and if something doesn’t sit right, explore it gently. While you may not agree with their perspective, understanding it can help shift the dynamic or at least create mutual awareness.
Before having a difficult conversation, it can help to reflect on what you want to say. Approaching the discussion without judgment or defensiveness allows you to stay grounded and objective. If the other person is open to it, aim for a shared understanding or agreement. And if your efforts aren’t met with change, allow yourself to step back. Not every situation can be resolved, and not every person needs to have ongoing influence over your emotional state.
Ultimately, growth often comes from listening, staying centered, and offering alternative perspectives without attachment to the outcome. Difficult people don’t have to define your peace. How you respond is where your power lies.